


For the sake of the others

by shippingParaphernalia



Category: Sanders Sides
Genre: Angst, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Moving On, Multi, Oneshot, Original Character(s), POV Second Person, Patton Sanders angst, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Sanders Sides angst, Well not exactly? it's just another side to patton, dark patton sanders - Freeform, there is no fluff in this world, this is so goddamn edgy yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 08:57:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12767496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shippingParaphernalia/pseuds/shippingParaphernalia
Summary: Patton doesn't often talk to himself, but when he does, he sure takes it to the extreme.(Aka That One Fic Where Patton Realizes He Has No Right To Be Sad)





	For the sake of the others

 

**Here’s my second Sanders Sides fic! I was going through my old pieces of writing and they are so bad that I felt the need to cleanse myself… by writing something newly bad. Or at least, edgy. Oh boy is this edgy.**

**Hope you all enjoy, and don’t forget to review!**

**-Georgie**

///

**Morality, what are you doing?**

The side in question frowned, not so much at the voice speaking than at the question it posed.

_I’m crying._

**Why?**

Patton shrugged, reaching up to dab at his eyes. The sweater he’d chosen to wear today–homemade, scratchy, good for cuddling but not so much for crying– did nothing to mop away the tears, but he paid it no mind. They’d leave eventually. With a few quick, practiced gestures, he piled all the table’s plates and glasses onto a small tray to transfer to the kitchen, humming a little as he did.

 **Morality**.

He got up and started making his way to the kitchen, humming some more.

 **Morality**.

Maybe, if he hummed loud enough, he could drown the voice out. Wouldn’t that be something. Or maybe, if he just really focused on the task at hand–

 **MORALITY**.

Patton froze, nearly dropping everything as a jolt of pain suddenly raced down his arms.

“Ow!”

**You know, Morality, I don’t like it when you ignore me.**

Patton sighed. He placed the assorted tray on the kitchen counter and leaned against it, rubbing his hands ruefully.

_You know, voice buddy, I have another name, right? If you want my attention, call me Patton. Or Pat. Or Pattoncake! Morality sounds so much more formal… and anyway, we’ve already established that I do more than just point out what’s right or wrong._

**Why are you crying, Morality?**

Patton smiled, hoping it didn’t come across as too tense. Not that it mattered. The voice couldn’t see him. This whole ‘smile-when-youre-nervous’ bit was pure reflex, anyway.

_Aw, are you worried about me? That’s sweet._

**I’m worried about your job. Or rather your lack of doing it.**

_Haha… wait, what’s that supposed to mean?_

**I’m not going to ask you again, Morality. Why are you crying?**

Patton rubbed at his eyes again. Fruitless effort. Trying to control his tears was like trying to lasso a hurricane.

_I saw a movie, that’s all. I’ll be back to my regular old self in a jiffy._

A hollow rasp echoed through his mind, and Patton flinched, even while trying to keep up the smile. The voice didn’t laugh a lot, but when it did, it was never pleasant to hear: a cross between nails scraping on a blackboard, and the screeching of tires in a parking lot. A sound that could be hardly classified as human, let alone humorous.

**And you said you were more than just a sense of right and wrong. Oh, Morality. You can’t even do _that_  correctly.**

_Wh–_

**Don’t you know that lying falls under the 'wrong’ category?**

Patton opened his mouth to protest before remembering that would serve no purpose other than attracting the others. He closed it again hastily.

_I don’t lie, and you know that._

**Not to the others you don’t.** The voice sounded like it was enjoying itself.  **But to yourself? You do nothing but it.**

_But what I said is true! I saw a movie, and now I’m crying. It’s called The Fox and the Hound–_

A new rush of pain hit him, this time in his chest. Patton’s smile dropped immediately, and it was all he could do to not cry out– he felt like icy needles were pricking him over and over, straight in the heart.

**I already know about your movie. But that’s only a half truth. You’re dancing around my question, and you think I won’t notice it. But I have.**

Another laugh. Even less human than before.

**I don’t appreciate half truths, Morality. They’re not much better than lies.**

Patton bit his lip, slipping down the counter and huddling into himself at the bottom of it. The pain had changed, had stopped pricking him. Now it was pulling, yanking his heart apart in two opposite directions, pulling and grabbing and tugging, and Patton was sure it’d break, because there’s only so much something,  _someone_ , can take without snapping in half–and what an irony it’d be if Thomas’s heart had no heart anymore.

_P–please stop! It hurts._

The voice laughed a third time, and Patton’s hands flew up to the sides of his head as if hoping to block out the noise.

**I’m hurting too. From all your lies. Ease up my pain, and I’ll ease up yours. Now answer me this. Why are you crying?**

The pulling continued, but had now travelled up into his head as well; had travelled into his eyes with such an intense pressure that Patton was almost oblivious to his heart, had travelled into his eyes which were burning as if set on fire, had travelled into his eyes which were going to be pulled straight out of their sockets, had travelled into his  _eyes_ –

 _Because… Because I’m_ sad _, okay? I saw the movie, and now I’m sad! Now stop. Please!_

The pain stopped as fast as it started. Patton took a long, shuddering breath, and lowered his hands from his ears, trying to steady himself.

**Excellent work, Morality. See how easy that was? Just a quick, one word answer. Not an explanation on _why_** **you’re that answer– just the answer itself. You are sad. Now let’s take this a step further– can you guess why I’m here?**

Patton, who was slowly working on picking himself off the floor, hesitated.

_Because… I shouldn’t be sad._

**Precisely.** The voice sounded almost proud, and Patton felt a twinge of desperate joy at being able to at least get one thing right. **Or at least, not in front of the others. Don’t want to risk getting them all down. You’re core of a lot of Thomas’s happy feelings, remember? They rely on you to keep the mood up.**

Finally on his feet again, he frowned a little.

 _I’m at the core of a lot of Thomas’s_ feelings _._

 **No one is denying that. But why should you get everyone riled up over some minor thing you’re upset about when the others are upset about much more important things? Virgil is literally the personification of anxiety. Don’t you think his problems are**   **probably a little more serious than yours?**

 _I guess, yeah._ Pattonsmiled a little at the thought of the other side, then stopped when even that slight effort hurt.  _But I do my best to support my dark strange kiddo!_

**Then why not support him _more_  by helping him full time? Your problems are not as important as his. Your problems are not as important as anybody’s. You’re the least weighed-down side, and you should take advantage of that. For the sake of the others.**

Patton nodded slowly. His neck ached at the effort, but he ignored it. That…actually made sense. He couldn’t be sad, because he had no right (let alone reason) to be.

He thought about Virgil, who had to deal every day with Thomas’s worst fears. Roman, upon whose shoulders rested Thomas’s success in the acting world. Logan, who had to juggle the pressure of making sure Thomas wouldn’t fail in the real world. Then about himself, whose primary job was to brighten their day.

He rubbed again at his eyes, then went to the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face.

_**For the sake of the others.** _


End file.
